Masako's confession
by Amii-chan719
Summary: A secret eats away at Masako until she can't take it anymore. She wants somebody to just listen to her and confesses her secret to Mai.


Masako examined the two kimonos laid out on her bed. She had been trying to figure out what to wear for tomorrow night. Takigawa had invited the gang out to dinner and had told them of his plan to propose to Ayako. The couple had only been together for a little over a year, but were in love years before they officially got together.

"You should save the light blue one for the wedding. It looks like you're lying under a sakura tree with all the cherry blossoms on it. The white one is pretty but you'll stand out too much." Masako turned to look at Mai. A few years ago while on a case, the girls had put themselves in danger during a fight over the affections of Naru. They had been kidnapped by a demon and while waiting to be rescued the two talked things over to make peace before they died. The gang was surprised to discover the girls had become friends after being rescued. They've been best friends since then.

"I'm going to wear the light blue kimono. I'll wear the white one for the wedding. I'm sure Ayako will have everyone wear white so that she can wear a red dress." The two giggled, already imagining the wedding. Masako's grin faded away, she bit her lip. She had to tell Mai, it was now or never.

"Mai… I want to talk to you. There's something I have to say. Something I haven't told anyone else."

Mai looked at her best friend, her face was expressionless but she could detect the aura of sadness. Mai moved the kimonos to the couch so that they could sit on the bed. Masako held one of the pillows to her chest.

"You know you can tell me anything, just take your time." Masako nodded, and took a deep breath. Her heart was beating furiously, she didn't need anymore time, she was done holding in her feelings.

"I had an abortion."

Mai's eyes widened slightly, that was not what she had been expecting. She had known for a while that Masako hadn't been herself for a long time. She hadn't wanted to push Masako into telling her the truth, respecting her privacy but it broke her heart to know that she had probably done it alone. Mai grabbed her friends hand.

"Tell me everything."

"Well um, I found out I was pregnant at the end of March. Um, it scared me and I didn't know what to do. When I was out filming in Osaka, my mom had decided to visit to see how I was doing. She somehow figured it out when I threw up on the second day. Everyone believed me when I said I was just sick with food poisoning except her. She confronted me that night and didn't hesitate to start planning out what I would do. What she wanted me to do. I told her I wanted to talk to John first but she kept saying I wasn't ready. I went through it because I trusted my mom to know what was best for me. At the time I understood what she was saying. I know I'm young, I just turned freaking twenty one. I don't regret it but I hate not taking the time to think about the choice. I mean it wasn't really my choice in the end and I really wish that I had decided under better circumstances. I didn't even tell John… " Masako's voice broke, "I never got to tell him."

Mai's eyes watered up and she pulled Masako into a hug. "Oh Masako, I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

Masako wiped her eyes with her sleeve, "Part of me keeps thinking about how I love my life the way it is, I'm half way through college, my show is doing better than ever, I love going working with SPR, I have these amazing friends and I had an incredible love. The other part of me keeps thinking what if? I would've been 6 months pregnant by now, I would've been planning the nursery and trying to keep you from throwing a huge baby shower and John would've been reading up on baby books… I tried to pretend nothing had happened, but every time I saw John smile and look at me like I was an angel I knew. I couldn't do it anymore.

"I hurt him so much and he doesn't even know the whole story. I told him that the producers wanted me to go to America for three months and that it was better to be friends instead of waiting because this might not be the only time I would leave for a while. I'm so sick of myself, I just kept lying to him. I know if I tell him he'll hate me and I don't think I can live in a world where John hates me. It feels like.. Oh I don't even know. I feel all these things and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. What do I do Mai? Please tell me, I don't anymore, please." Masako began to sob and Mai's heart broke. She couldn't begin to imagine what it must've been like for her to harbor all those negative feelings.

"I don't think John will ever hate you. He might be angry or upset for a while, but he loves you. I'm sure if it's you two, you'll be able to work things out. I won't pretend to have the answers you're looking for, but I'll help you to the best of my ability. Who knows what'll happen. Maybe you two will get back together strong than ever. Or maybe you two won't and it'll be something we can work through together. It was wrong of your mom to take away your choice, but more importantly you shouldn't have had to deal with the aftermath by yourself." Mai handed Masako a couple of tissues, "Look it's not too late to try to fix things. The future isn't set in stone, you can change it. I can't tell you what to do but I'll support you in whatever choice you make. I want you to choose what makes you happy."

Masako was sobbing violently, all the feelings that had built up over the months came pouring out. A few tears fell down Mai's face and she continued to hold her friend in her arms. After a while, Masako stopped crying and she gave Mai a watery smile.

"Thank you for listening, I don't know what I would've done without you."


End file.
